Where the F*** Have I Been!? (#LewisLog 007)

It’s been far too long since I’ve sat down with a blank page and tried to make some semblance of sense out of the words that come to mind. The reason for my writing and vlogging hiatus are both simple (I was fired, then I got sick) and complex (it was bipolar mania, I was crazy).

Things were so bad that I had to be hospitalized THREE TIMES before “mental health professionals” were able to find a drug cocktail that didn’t have me clawing at the walls with anxiety. I was scared sick for Mackey’s safety (what if something happened to her and I wasn’t there?) and then later, scared of her (what if she was just pretending to love me so she could manipulate me?). Like I said, things were pretty bad to say the least (sorry, sweetheart!).

Explaining everything would be impossible, and also a waste of time. Just know that I’m fairly certain supernatural forces occasionally control our pets from afar, and we should be fine. Don’t believe me? Just observe a cat for 2 days and tell me there aren’t at least two wills at work there.

Also, Mackey again. She’s psychic. That’s part of why I was afraid of her. She’s too psychic. She always knows the right thing to say, or do, or not say, or give to me as a present, or say unexpectedly about the Bible, which she doesn’t believe in, except as a book. She’s like a witch without all the accessories. She wrote me a love poem three years ago and I just got it yesterday (I mean, she gave it to me three years ago, but I didn’t get it until now).

I know a blogger who sometimes only writes a few lines. Dude has 1,000+ followers. I guess size isn’t everything.

Ladies and gentlemen, my brain is still a little bit scrambled. I expect to resume normal blogging operations in the next two weeks and vlogging approximately when I am able. In the meantime, please enjoy the archive, and pray that we start a podcast because that would be awesome.

Speaking of things that would be awesome… time-travel. I love it. If I could travel into the future and make love to myself right at the moment I discovered the key to time-travel… well, it would probably destroy the universe, so I wouldn’t do it. But I want to: That’s how much I love time-travel.

When the thoughts in my head become invasive, I hide behind fiction. I live in a world where my mistakes can be undone, and the cruelties I’ve suffered erased. There’s no need to feel sad in a world where time-travel is possible; everything can be redone, fixed.

Unfortunately, the past month can’t be undone; there is no time machine. I just have to pick up where I left off, which was being weird on the internet and looking for work. If you have any leads, hit me up! I’m basically already at your front door.

Accelerate into the curve!


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